Thursday, February 17, 2000 Older Editions

Teens, parents, officials talk drugs, alcohol: Family pressure points

By Rebecca Lipchitz

Some parents may have left Tuesday night's discussion "It's Not My Kid, Not in Andover" thinking "It's me."

The responsibility of parents was a recurring theme in the discussion on youth, drinking and drug abuse at the Andover High School PAC meeting Tuesday.

The meeting, attended by more than 100 parents, featured a panel discussion with Police Chief Brian Pattullo, Youth Services director Bill Fahey, Andover High Guidance Department program adviser Allison Brown Collins, Health Education director Dave Nichols and Andover High Assistant Principal Steve Richardson, moderated by Bancroft School Assistant Principal Brenda O'Brien, former head of the health education program.

Later in the discussion, AHS seniors Max Trombly and Peter Edgerly joined the panel to offer students' perspectives.

Nichols reported that more than two-thirds of students surveyed say they have never discussed drug use or alcohol use with their parents.

Edgerly said he believes students should be responsible for their actions, but asked adults to take a closer look at the problems their children face.

"You can talk about zero tolerance all you want, but it's not going to solve the root of the problem," he said.

Stress in students lives and poor communication with parents was a common problem, he said.

Edgerly said he knew one student who was grounded for missing three of five three-point shots in an Andover High School basketball game. He also knew a student who was punished for not being chosen as first violinist in an orchestra.

"If your kid is in the National Honor Society, great. Congratulations, but I don't want to scrape him off the ground every weekend," he said.

Trombly said he and Edgerly do not condone students' illegal activities.

"We're not here to defend their actions, or to justify them. We're just here to help educate you," he said.

Parents at the meeting learned from students and adults that parent-child communications are the key to avoiding drug and alcohol abuse, but they also learned that if a student wants them, he or she can get them.

Nichols reported that alcohol use increases dramatically after sixth grade, and that marijuana use among seniors in high school doubled last year from the previous year.

Pattullo said that while police combat underage drinking and drug use that mostly includes marijuana, another drug, ecstasy, is now popular with students because it's cheap ($25 a hit) and doesn't impair speech or motor skills -- signs that usually show a person is high.

"It's very hard to enforce," he said.

Richardson agreed.

"You can look and look and look, and not find the kid on ecstasy," he said.

Trombly confirmed the fears of adults that a student who wants any type of drug or alcohol could easily gain access to it.

Edgerly said that all of the students he knows who obtain alcohol or drugs get it from older siblings, older friends, or sometimes even parents of friends.

Parent Kevin Skinner said his son told him of a sophomore at Andover High who doesn't take drugs, but makes as much money in a week dealing drugs as Skinner makes himself at a professional job.

"I told (my son) that when I get my paycheck, I don't have to deal with the men in blue, I don't have to worry about a deal gone bad like he (that student) does. And he doesn't have to deal with me," he said drawing applause from the audience.

One mother said she hears of parties planned that will include alcohol and minors, but doesn't know what to do about it.

Parents and police suggested she call the parents anonymously if she doesn't want to give her name, or call the police department.

Parents were in fact asking police about situations where the illegal activity was really "not my kid."

Pattullo said the zero tolerance policy of Andover Police was adopted by himself and the School Department at the urging of the Essex County District Attorney, Kevin Burke.

Pattullo said a minor caught at a party with alcohol would not be arrested for possession of alcohol if he wasn't drinking and wasn't seen holding any alcohol, but rules about being in a car where alcohol and minors are being transported is another matter.

In all cases, parents are notified, Pattullo said.

Andover attorney James Krasnoo, who specializes in representing juveniles in criminal cases, said parents shouldn't let their children get away with too much, since police in New Hampshire or other Massachusetts towns might not be "as sensitive" to such issues as Andover police.

Richardson said the high-school principal has the authority to expel as student for first time drug use in school, but not for alcohol use.

Because alcohol is not a controlled substance, only the School Committee has authority to expel a student for crimes involving alcohol.

Krasnoo said children he has met who committed serious crimes invariably have problems with their parents.

"Very often crime is a manifestation of problems at home. I often end up sending parents to counseling for things they've done to their children," Krasnoo said.

He recommends parents give their children the responsibility of letting their parents know where they are.

"Start early building kids' trust," he said.

Pattullo recommends waiting up for children to get home but not to be confrontational, as his mother did.

"That doorknob must have been connected to her eyeball," he said of his mother's ability to find him coming in at night.

"There aren't enough adults around anymore," Pattullo said.

Fahey agreed that parents' time spent with their children is the key.

"Sooner or later a solution can be found, if bridges keep being built between people," he said.

Collins, asked which students were most vulnerable to falling into drug and alcohol habits, said genetic predispositions within the family are a particular problem, but that all students are vulnerable.

"And student are more vulnerable if they can't talk to adults about what's going on around them," she said.